I ran into an old co-worker a couple of weeks ago and it got me thinking… I’ve worked with some interesting characters. Some REALLY interesting characters. Or as this old co-worker of mine liked to put it “We put the L’s in Really Needs to be Institutionalized.” (don’t ask) So, in honor of my ex-colleagues, I’ve decided to create my very own Co-Worker Hall of Fame (CWHof). Here are the criteria:

• I must have worked with the nominee for at least a month. I’ve got to know the idiot before I chuck him or her in the Hall.
• I can not be currently working with the nominee (Sort of like the 5 year rule for the Baseball Hall of Fame… plus I’d rather not lose my job)
• The nominee pretty much has to be crazy. I mean its not like every person I ever worked with can get in… I have standards you know.

Alright, so with those criteria having been set, I proudly present to you the first inductee of the Co-Worker Hall of Fame. (Names have been changed to protect the ignorant.)

Waddling Wendy - Wendy was… well really there’s no nice way to put this… Wendy was fat. I mean really fat. If America has an epidemic of obesity, Wendy was the case study. I could never really understand why though. Every time I saw Wendy she was walking, or to be more accurate waddling. Up the steps, down the steps, through the halls, Wendy was always on the move and yet somehow she looked (and walked) like a penguin who had eaten the Michelin Man. They say sharks have to constantly keep swimming or they’ll die. Well if Wendy’s any example, whales do to. I know, I know, this sounds overly harsh but let me explain. If you happened to be walking down the hallway and had the unfortunate luck of having to pass by Wendy, you had a 84% chance she’d bump into you… and a 99% chance she’d blame you for it. If you happened to have food in your hand as you passed… forget it; you were pullin back a nub. Not only that, but the reason Wendy was always walking around was apparently to tell everyone else how they were doing their job wrong. My, but she was a pleasant woman. And you know… to this day I never found out what Wendy’s actual duties were at that place.

I admit, Wendy has set the bar pretty high but I’ll be inducting more members into the CWHoF as I sift through the stack of qualified applicants.

If you would like to nominate a co-worker for the Hall of Fame, write up their merrits and email it to info@skitzzo.com.

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