For any of my readers that don’t know me personally, I got married 6 weeks ago. Yeah, I know right? Even after I wrote this story about a fight we had, she still said “I do”. Anyway, one of the most frequent questions I’ve gotten is “Do you feel different?” Invariably my answer has been “No, not really.” I mean, we had already been spending a lot of time together and really, it’s just been nice to be done with all the wedding preparations.

Well, this weekend while back visiting in St. Louis, my wife (Juliet) and I drove through Jack in the Box. We pull in to that beautiful haven of culinary delight and place our order. At the window while we’re waiting to pay, Juliet sees one of those “Its not to late!” signs with a picture perfect piece of cheesecake. “Oooh, that looks great!” she says. “Eh, not so much really.” Now let me clarify, I have nothing against cheesecake. I have something against cheesecake made by any fast food joint. I mean, that’s pretty reasonable right? I thought so too.

“Oh yeah, you don’t LIKE cheesecake do you?” I realized, at this point, that I had just managed to get myself in trouble; I simply couldn’t figure out how. I mean she said this as if she were accusing me of crimes against humanity or something.

“What do you mean? Of course I like cheesecake. I just don’t li..”

“No you don’t. You didn’t get any fried cheesecake (yes, you really can get fried cheesecake) at the fair (never mind that we had gone to the fair over a week ago). You don’t like cheesecake!”

Instinctively I started to defend myself. I started to explain that I had eaten my weight in fried foods at the fair and didn’t feel like having to my stomach stapled once I inevitably popped. And then it dawned on me…

I hadn’t done anything wrong here.

After a quick mental review of the situation (you have to be certain about these things), I cautiously asked “Wait a minute, why are you mad at me for this? I haven’t done anything to you… have I?”

“Well, I could just picture me spending hours over the stove to make you a cheesecake and you rejecting it”

“Wait a minute…. WHAT?”

“You know you would.”

“So I’m in trouble for a scenario that you played out in your mind but didn’t ACTUALLY happen?”

*sheepishly* “Yeah”

“Wow…now I feel married”

EDIT: Just for the record, in this post you should not be surprised if I maybe, slightly, exaggerate just a tiny little bit. In fact, you should expect it. (read as: Yes, mam, I’m sorry mam… it wont happen again mam)

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